It all started when my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook mentioning that he wanted to "hang himself". He always gets frustrated with me when I say suicidal things, telling me not to "joke" about suicide, so I knew this was a joke but it still worried me. He didn't reply to any of the texts I sent him or answer his phone. I was worrying like crazy and crying on and off. It also triggered memories of when my abuser would say he was going to kill himself every time he found out I was talking to someone else.
He eventually replied and said he was too busy to talk which triggered the panic attack to start, probably because I get ignored a lot and he's the only person who I know cares 100%. I couldn't breathe properly, I was crying and shaking.
Eventually my boyfriend called me and tried to calm me down. "Calm down. Shhhhh. Everything is fine. I love you" He kept saying. He was trying to get my to go and get my mother but I didn't want her to freak out too so I just stayed where I was, trying to calm down and just focus on his voice. The first thing I managed to say to him once I calmed down was "I love you"
Having a long distance relationship isn't easy but he still manages to do his job.
