2016 Year Review.

It's that time of year again. Time to look back on my year and reflect on the good, the not so good, and everything in between. This is my second year doing a post like this and I can't wait to share my memories, and how well I stuck to my resolutions with you. As with last year I will be following up with a New years resolutions post for 2017. I hope you enjoy reading! Thank you.

The biggest change I have gone through in the past 12 months is starting college. After spending the first 9 months of the year working almost full time in the local market I finally decided to go back to college to finish my education. I have to admit, I'm not necessarily enjoying everything that comes with being a full time college student, but that's a whole post on it's own.

Another huge change that happened this year was getting a new job! This was one of my mini new years resolutions, it wasn't a priority until around September when I started college and my boss told me he was selling the business. I could only work at my old job on Saturdays so it was important that I got a new job where I could work more hours and earn more money. I am very very proud of myself for doing this as it took a lot of confidence and working nights is taking a lot of my energy. But I know I can do this!

Over the past year I have found myself being more accepting of who I am. This is partially due to making more friends with the same interests as me. I have become more I touch with my ABDL side and have had lots of fun buying cute ABDL things such as diapers and pacifiers! I had a brief try at being a porn star which I really enjoyed but had to give up for personal reasons. I really enjoy being open about my sexuality, it is a huge part of me and I am so glad that I finally had a chance to show it off and be creative with it.

As for friends I have made a few and lost some although that is the nature of growing up, you lose contact with people. I can't help but feel some people have just stopped talking to me on purpose. But at least I have the amazing friends who will always talk to me no matter what and I appreciate that so much as someone who doesn't always want to be talking and meeting up.

My mental health has been very up and down. My doctor doesn't seem to believe me because there is so much that I just can't bring myself to tell him, he just keeps upping my prescription. Although this month I decided to stop taking my meds and honestly I feel a lot better without them. Will that last? I don't know. I hope so.

Most of the big things I have done this year have already been discussed in my 3 month reviews although I did fall out of the habit of doing that mid year! Meaning that I failed resolution number 6: write a blog post each month!

My first new years resolution was to look after myself better, this is one that I plan on bringing into 2017 with me. I feel like in some ways I have achieved this, for a while i went to the gym at least twice a week and even got into a very good self care routine. But I feel like once I started college my self care too a back seat since i have really fallen out of my routine.

Resolutions 2 and 3 were Lolita related. I definitely have not been wearing Lolita as much as I would have liked and have only managed to make it to one meet this year. I just haven't had the time for meets and haven't had the motivation to get dressed up.

Number 4 was to try and meet more of my friends. I feel like I have achieved this quite well as I have spent a lot of time hanging out with my friends, although I have yet to meet some of the ones who live further away.  I really appreciate having such amazing friends who I have so much in common with that means I can spend so much time with them. We hung out at Slam Dunk, Leeds Fest, and went on lots of fun trips to go shopping. I love spending time with my friends and my plan for 2017 will be to meet as many of them as possible.

As for being more organised, I started off well but again, fell out of it when I started college. I am already trying to get back into this ready for the new year as I feel being organised really helps me to not panic as much. I have multiple planners and diaries that I will be using to achieve this.

My mini goals were almost all reached! I got a new job, started to read more, and watched a ton of movies! The only mini goal I did not achieve was starting my YouTube channel, although like I said, this wasn't any kind of priority. My favourite movie I have watched this year is either the conjuring films, or Moana. My favourite book I have read is the current one I am reading which is The colour of magic by Terry Pratchett.

Overall I have had a really good year, I have done things I never thought I would ever do. I can't wait for next year to be even better!
Thank you for reading!

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New Years resolutions

I have made a few resolutions this year. Some relating to me and my mental/physical health, some to Lolita fashion and some general ones. Here's a list of what I want to do and how I plan to do it.

1. Look after myself

This means a lot of things to me. Looking after my body by getting fit, plus my doctor said that going to the gym, or even just jogging is a good way to get rid of extra anxious energy so that's another good reason. I'm also going to try and improve my diet, both for my health and to help me go places with people.

This also means looking after my skin by making use of all of the lovely products I received for Christmas and actually getting a good routine going for myself. I may even try wearing makeup more often as it makes me more confident.

2. Wear Lolita more often

This is quite a difficult one to manage as at the moment I don't really go many places and my wardrobe is quite small, but I plan on wearing Lolita at every opportunity I get, even if it's just on a shopping trip with my boyfriend.

3. Go to more Lolita meets

This is a difficult one due to my job (I work Saturdays) but I plan on going to more meets with my comm. I hope to go every other month if I can!

4. Meet my internet friends

I haven't met around 80% of the people I'm friends with so my goal this year is to meet some of them! I shouldn't really refer to them as "internet friends" because they are just my friends! I just haven't hung out with a lot of them. Some will be easier than others as they live closer but I hope to meet them anyway and go on cute friend dates!

5. Be more organised

I plan to organise things a bit better so I'm not left panicking at the last minute like I have been recently. This includes work, friends, outfits and concerts.

6. Write a blog post each month

This was the original plan for the blog, and now I hope to make it a reality! Even if it's just a short post about a meet I went to or review of a shop I ordered from, I hope to write at least one post a month. So far so good!

I also have some slightly smaller, less life effecting goals I would like to achieve this year, which aren't such a big priority, although it would be nice. These are all pretty self explanatory so I won't bother explaining them.

1. Get a new job

2. Start a YouTube channel

3. Read more

4. Watch more movies

2015

2015 has been a very eventful year for me, so I'm writing this post to look back on the ups and downs. I'm not gonna go into major amounts of detail, it's just going to be a brief look back.

Friendships:

I started this year with a reasonable amount of friends, although I can't say I'm really leaving it with them. (I'm not going to name any names, obviously.)

One of the girls I was pretty close with started talking behind my back and let me down on something I really needed her to be able to go to, although I'm no longer majorly upset with her about this I still haven't had the courage to talk to her to ask if we can make up.

The other girl left after I had a panic attack before meeting up with her so I had to cancel. I have however spoken to her, she says she didn't think I was making the effort. I agree completely, I let my mental illness get in the way. But right now I don't feel like I can be the best friend I could be to her so I don't feel like I can make up with her right now, but maybe some day.

It's not all bad though, I joined an "unofficial" group chat for a band I like called Area 11 and I feel like I've made a lot of really good friends through that, although I've only met a few of them in real life I hope to hang out with them more in the next year.

Events:

My love for concerts got even bigger this year. I discovered tons of new bands and went to see a lot of old ones. One of my favourite bands to see live, Blitz Kids, split and played a really long gig as a lovely send off. Another few of my favourites were Twenty One Pilots, Fall Out Boy and Bleachers.

As well as these gigs I also went to Whitby Goth Weekend for Halloween with my boyfriend. This is a 3 day convention/market type thing with concerts on the Friday and Saturday night. The fearless vampire killers were one of the bands who played on the Friday (who all dressed as Jim Carey which was hilarious) and were really good. We discovered a band called Vince Ripper and the Rodent Show on the Saturday who we thought were really weird and hilarious! Whitby is also a really beautiful lovely place, on the Sunday we walked up to the church and Abbey which was beautiful!

I also attended 2 conventions this year! Manchester MCM comic con for my birthday and Yorkshire cosplay con. I cosplayed Link from the Legend Of Zelda at both, which was really fun! I spent too much money at MCM and met some of the lovely people from the Area11 group chat. At cosplay con I got to meet some of the girls from my local Lolita community and the lovely youtubers Fetsu and Jack. Both events were great fun and I hope to go back next year either in cosplay or Lolita.

Love:

I guess this is also something I started 2015 with, just not as good as I have it now. At the end of 2014 we decided to "pre-commit" meaning we were exclusive and pretty much in a relationship, but not 100% because there were so many factors against us. We started being allowed to meet (him coming to me) in April, just after I got my apprenticeship. We tried to see each other every Sunday as it was the only day I had free. After I quit my apprenticeship I was allowed to go and see him. We went into Liverpool, he took me to build a bear and we made one that looked like him and named it after him. He then took me down to the docks, he told me about how silly he felt that he wasn't in a proper relationship with me. So he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend "for realsies". We locked a lock which he engraved with our initials (using the key) on the fence by the river. He had bought the build a bear so we would have a certificate to remind us of the date we got together. Since then we've done tons of great things like a spontaneous trip to London, playing video games for hours and trying to beat each other at Mario kart, our holiday to Whitby, and even spending Christmas together. Our relationship has progressed so much and I hope it continues into 2016 and even further.

Mental health:

My mental health hasn't been great this year. I've had a lot of panic attacks and just generally a bad time with depression. Although I feel like I'm getting a little bit better, I hope 2016 is easier on me. The Christmas period was especially hard on me, but that was expected as I was spending a lot of time with my boyfriend's family who I don't know extremely well, but it did get better.

So in conclusion, my year wasn't all that bad but I hope for 2016 to be even better!