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Wednesday 14 June 2017

Rambling about Nintendo: the WiiU to the switch, Zelda Breath Of The Wild, etc.

Its not really a secret that I'm a huge fan of Nintendo. I LOVE THEM! So today since the Nintendo E3 conference was last night I'm going to write about my love for this company. This is going to be a very ramble filled post so if that's not what you want top read then I suggest you stop reading. This is NOT  a review.

So admittedly recently they haven't been on top form, the WiiU was a flop, lets be honest. I personally didn't get one until Christmas 2015 and even then I bought it as a gift for my boyfriend. It did have some fairly good games released for it though. ZombiU was a fairly good game if slightly confusing at times, we have yet to finish it because it often gets just too hard at times. Yoshi's woolly world was an adorable adventure although due to it being aimed at a younger audience it was a bit too easy at times. Overall I think the game choice for the WiiU was decent but at the same it lacked a lot. the fact that it didn't even get its own Zelda game until the switch brought it breath of the wild really said something. Even then it kind of felt like a sorry gift for people who bought the WiiU and expected way m,ore from it, like "we're sorry we didn't do well with this. Here's Zelda."

The idea of the WiiU was really clever in my option. having the game pad being touch screen and being able to play it on the TV could have been amazing had they done it a little better. as far as I can tell a lot of games didn't really make enough use of this feature. They did in a way learn from their mistakes with the switch, using a touch screen and giving it the ability to play both in handheld mode and the TV.

Lets be honest though. The switch is REALLY GREAT. The combination of both handheld and TV gaming is amazing. Handheld mode is surprisingly comfortable despite the size of the console and the graphics OH BOY THE GRAPHICS ARE GORGEOUS. People talk a lot about Breath Of The Wild being a beautiful game and they are not wrong. The world design is stunning, the character design is perfection, and the game play is wonderful. One thing to note about this is that it doesn't follow the typical Zelda game formula and is much more reminiscent of other open world RPGs such as Skyrim (which is also coming out for the switch and I'm STOKED), this doesn't take away from the game at all. It still follows a similar story line to all other Zelda games, it just goes about it in a new, exciting way. The only tiny small issue I have with this game is the difficulty. Normally I find Zelda games really hard. I will admit that I have never finished a Zelda game. I know. Shocking. But this game just seems a little bit too easy to me. Maybe I've somehow become much better at games, guess I should bring Phantom Hourglass back out and try out my new found Zelda skills. I just hope that paying for the DLC that adds hard mode is worth it. There are some aspects of the game that are hard, just not the bosses, the things you expect to be hard.

As for the future of the switch, I think its going to do well. Judging by the titles already being announced I think the switch is going to continue to sell and sell well. Mario Odyssey looks amazing ans with a release date for the end of October I expect a lot of kids (and adults) will be asking for it for Christmas. At first I thought Mario Odyssey looked weird and way too different from all other Mario games to work. But the more I see of it, the more convinced I am. The inde games being released also look amazing. Overall I think the games will make the switch go far.

Maybe I'm biased because I just really love Nintendo. What do you think?
Thanks for reading!

Wednesday 3 May 2017

Patent Pending U.K. Spring Break Tour 2017: A Review.

Oh look another Patent Pending post! This year instead of just gushing over how much I appreciate them like I did last year I'm going to actually review the tour. So here we go, a (probably majorly biased) review/recap of Patent Pending's 2017 U.K. Spring break tour!

Just like last year my boyfriend and I went to Leeds and Manchester as these are our closest shows, however this year I bought myself a VIP ticket to Leeds. Here I will be reviewing and gushing over the VIP experience, the support acts, the set list, and the show overall!

Leeds VIP:
I know its easy enough to meet and talk to the band without it but honestly, I highly recommend getting VIP if you can. we were let into the venue just over an hour before everyone else, which in itself is great since its often pretty gosh darn cold outside! Now I was on my own and I was pretty anxious, I had so much going through my head and for some reason I had convinced myself that the band would hate me and I would be so upset (the reality is far from this but anxiety sucks). While we were standing around waiting for the band to come out the loveliest girl in the world started talking to me and introduced me to the lovely people she was with, and honestly I have never been so grateful, they were all so nice! Joe said he was proud of us for making friends and reminded me that "you're never alone at a Patent Pending show", something I will never forget for the rest of my life. If I had to review the Second Family they would get a 10/10 from me!
Then came the acoustic performance, they performed 3 songs, Spin Me Around, Stacey, and Second Family. All 3 were great and filled with the usual level of Patent Pending brand banter that you would expect from any other show. Including the introduction to Wonderwall (I can't help shouting "Do Wonderwall!"at literally anyone with a guitar...).
After that we all got to take group photos with the band! Anyone who has ever tried to take a photo of or with me will know I'm really bad at this and usually just do something stupid but since this was my first VIP I wanted to have at least one nice full band photo before I inevitably get VIP to the next tour and take a bunch of stupid photos! I think its pretty cute!



While waiting for everyone to take their group photos we were all given a free signed tour poster and a Patent Pending key ring (which was just a badge in a key ring, I thought this was hilarious to be honest!). There was a little wait before we could have a chat with the band members so I ended up talking to the lead singer of Eternal Boy who was so sweet and easy to talk to! So were the rest of the band, I wrote them all "Thank you" cards and they were so happy with them.
I would highly recommend paying for the VIP even though it is easy enough to meet the band anyway, it is just a truly a unique experience that you should have at least once!

Support acts:
At the two concerts I went to the support acts were Sweet Little Machine followed by Eternal Boy.
Sweet Little Machine were great but I personally didn't feel much of a connection with their music, even though they are from Yorkshire and they played pop punk! They played a good set with lots of parts where the crowd could pick up the words and also gave away free downloads of their EP which is always great!
I have to admit that Eternal Boy were my favorite out of the two! They played very generic pop punk, think Blink-182 and Sum 41. I felt a huge connection with their music which is one of the main things I love in a band, if I don't like them live it really puts me off them. They also played a cover of Whats My Age Again, we all love a good pop punk sing along! Their jokes and banter were similar to that of Patent Pending which is also something I love in a band, I like bad jokes!
Set list and show:
Set lists are so important to a good show and as always Patent Pending NAILED IT! Part of the reason for this is that their set lists are different every show. Obviously there are somethings that don't change such as their encore of Brighter and Douchebag, and always including songs like One Less Heart To Break and Hey Mario.
Another thing that should never be taken out of a Patent Pending show is my favourite sport in the world, Crowd Swimming! For anyone who has never been to a show I will explain what this is, it takes place during Psycho In Love and is basically a competition between Joe and someone else, either from the band or one of the support acts, to see who can "swim" on the crowd from the back of the venue to the front. First person with both feet on the stage wins! Now I'm not a sporty person but honestly the rush I get from this event is crazy! It's always a good feeling when whoever was on your side wins! And also quite hilarious when Joe loses!
A great addition to the set was the songs from their new album Other People's Greatest Hits, which is exactly what it sounds like, an album of other peoples hits! They also did a little medley of old songs which was really nice since it included the first Patent Pending song I ever heard, The Way You Make Me Shake.
As always there were lots of bad jokes, hand gestures, pirate hooks, and crowd surfing and of course it was very hot. But big shout out to the key club in Leeds for fitting fans! You really saved our lives! Manchester was as sweaty as ever and honestly it really adds to the experience, the amount of sweat is a measurement of the amount of fun you had! Or something...
The only issue I had with the show was the lack of Anti-everything. I know they don't do it every date but come on guys! Do it for at least one of those two shows! Its mine and my boyfriend's favourite!
But really, I had the best time and I have nothing but love for this band.

Overall I would say this years tour was even better than last, if that's even possible! Everything about it was amazing and I would highly recommend anyone reading this should see this band live at least once, trust me, you'll want to do it a million times! Even if you have no one else to go with, go on your own because you're never alone at a Patent Pending show.

We’ve all been living life in fear of doing something that we believe in. 
The time has come to believe in yourself. believe in your friends. 
Find something that you love and spread it like wildfire. 
There is such a thing as a perfect world but without each other it does not exist. 
There is such a thing as happiness and this is it. 


Make sure you check out all of the bands mentioned here if you haven't already; Eternal Boy, Sweet Little Machine, and of course Patent Pending.

Thank you so much for reading! Make sure you check out my other posts and share this one with your friends!

Tuesday 7 February 2017

Life Choices: Am I doing the right thing?

As I'm sure you know, this September I started attending college again. I am currently working towards my Level 3 Animal management 90 credit diploma. And honestly... I hate it. So I apologize but this post is just going to be a rant. I need to get this out.

Five months is a long time to keep trying at something you don't enjoy, especially when everything else around you is changing and you're terrified. I have anxiety and depression and honestly both of these things are being worsened by being here. But sometimes I do feel good when I'm here. I just worry that all of that is over and I'm never going to feel good about this course. I certainly haven't felt it in a while.

Do I hate the course? Or do I just hate college as a whole, the idea of being in a classroom all the time and such? Or is it just my mental illness getting in the way? These are the questions that are keeping me here. I wish I had all of the answers and could just be like everyone else and just get this done. I know I'm smart enough to do the course, but am I well enough for it? Everyone says I can but honestly I'm too tired and too sad to cope.

Work is only making me feel worse. Do I hate my job? I can't tell. I know I hate working nights but I don't think I hate the whole job. I'm so tired from doing 10 and 13 hour days that I find myself disassociating way more than I should be. I mean I shouldn't really do it at all but now I spend a lot of time not even believing any of this is real.

I knew it was going to be hard for me to make friends, lets be honest here I'm not exactly the most normal person in the world. However despite getting on fairly well with everyone I feel like I haven't found my place. Other than that place being the loner. I have friends. Just not ones I feel a major connection with like I do with my other friends. This is fine by me but it's not exactly going towards me staying. I mean, who would miss me? I know I would miss them but I'm not exactly one to stay in contact with people anyway.

Having an operation at the end of this month (February) is not exactly going in favour of me staying either. I will need 6 weeks off to recover. and maybe in that time I will make my mind up on weather I really do want to come back or not. If I make it that far...

Seeing my boyfriend isn't exactly easy either. I have no free time to myself between work and school so it always ends with him coming to me. I'm desperate to go and see him but its almost impossible due to time and anxiety.

But I don't want to give up!!! Not again. Not after giving up on so any things before. I want this to be the thing I finish. I love animals. And then I can do anything I want next year. But who knows what will happen then...

If you made it this far through my messy, unedited rant, thank you. Thank you so much for reading I hope you didn't get too bored.
I don't get as much time as I would like to write these days but I do hope to get back to it. Even if it is just to write messy shit like this.
Thank you.

Monday 26 December 2016

2016 Year Review.

It's that time of year again. Time to look back on my year and reflect on the good, the not so good, and everything in between. This is my second year doing a post like this and I can't wait to share my memories, and how well I stuck to my resolutions with you. As with last year I will be following up with a New years resolutions post for 2017. I hope you enjoy reading! Thank you.

The biggest change I have gone through in the past 12 months is starting college. After spending the first 9 months of the year working almost full time in the local market I finally decided to go back to college to finish my education. I have to admit, I'm not necessarily enjoying everything that comes with being a full time college student, but that's a whole post on it's own.

Another huge change that happened this year was getting a new job! This was one of my mini new years resolutions, it wasn't a priority until around September when I started college and my boss told me he was selling the business. I could only work at my old job on Saturdays so it was important that I got a new job where I could work more hours and earn more money. I am very very proud of myself for doing this as it took a lot of confidence and working nights is taking a lot of my energy. But I know I can do this!

Over the past year I have found myself being more accepting of who I am. This is partially due to making more friends with the same interests as me. I have become more I touch with my ABDL side and have had lots of fun buying cute ABDL things such as diapers and pacifiers! I had a brief try at being a porn star which I really enjoyed but had to give up for personal reasons. I really enjoy being open about my sexuality, it is a huge part of me and I am so glad that I finally had a chance to show it off and be creative with it.

As for friends I have made a few and lost some although that is the nature of growing up, you lose contact with people. I can't help but feel some people have just stopped talking to me on purpose. But at least I have the amazing friends who will always talk to me no matter what and I appreciate that so much as someone who doesn't always want to be talking and meeting up.

My mental health has been very up and down. My doctor doesn't seem to believe me because there is so much that I just can't bring myself to tell him, he just keeps upping my prescription. Although this month I decided to stop taking my meds and honestly I feel a lot better without them. Will that last? I don't know. I hope so.

Most of the big things I have done this year have already been discussed in my 3 month reviews although I did fall out of the habit of doing that mid year! Meaning that I failed resolution number 6: write a blog post each month!

My first new years resolution was to look after myself better, this is one that I plan on bringing into 2017 with me. I feel like in some ways I have achieved this, for a while i went to the gym at least twice a week and even got into a very good self care routine. But I feel like once I started college my self care too a back seat since i have really fallen out of my routine.

Resolutions 2 and 3 were Lolita related. I definitely have not been wearing Lolita as much as I would have liked and have only managed to make it to one meet this year. I just haven't had the time for meets and haven't had the motivation to get dressed up.

Number 4 was to try and meet more of my friends. I feel like I have achieved this quite well as I have spent a lot of time hanging out with my friends, although I have yet to meet some of the ones who live further away.  I really appreciate having such amazing friends who I have so much in common with that means I can spend so much time with them. We hung out at Slam Dunk, Leeds Fest, and went on lots of fun trips to go shopping. I love spending time with my friends and my plan for 2017 will be to meet as many of them as possible.

As for being more organised, I started off well but again, fell out of it when I started college. I am already trying to get back into this ready for the new year as I feel being organised really helps me to not panic as much. I have multiple planners and diaries that I will be using to achieve this.

My mini goals were almost all reached! I got a new job, started to read more, and watched a ton of movies! The only mini goal I did not achieve was starting my YouTube channel, although like I said, this wasn't any kind of priority. My favourite movie I have watched this year is either the conjuring films, or Moana. My favourite book I have read is the current one I am reading which is The colour of magic by Terry Pratchett.

Overall I have had a really good year, I have done things I never thought I would ever do. I can't wait for next year to be even better!
Thank you for reading!

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Tuesday 15 November 2016

Onesies Downunder, ABDL Marketplace, and Little For Big review/comparison

I have been buying a lot of ABDL gear recently and I wanted to review it all. So instead of writing 3 separate reviews, I have decided to write one review and compare the 3. I will be reviewing the onesies from Onesies Downunder, ABDL marketplace, and little for big, and the pacifiers from Onesies Downunder, and Little For Big. All opinions in this post are my own, I paid for all of these products myself and I am not getting paid for writing this review, nor am I affiliated with any of these companies.

The first order I placed was with Onesies Downunder. I purchased the space snap crotch onesie in size medium and the pink adult pacifier. The order took a little while to get here, but that was to be expected considering it came all the way from Australia to England. I had to pay a custom fee when it came to my door which was a little bit annoying but there's nothing they can do about that. It was all packaged very well. The print on the onesie is gorgeous, althouigh not as bright and vivid as it appears in pictures, and the pacifier is super cute. However the onesie is too small for my liking. I bought the size I would usually buy in tshirts but it was a lot tighter than I was expecting, the poppers actually undo when I have a diaper under it. This is my fault though so if I do buy another I will get a bigger size. The pacifier is the perfect size and the teat is nice and firm and fits perfectly in my mouth, although these can really be purchased anywhere so there is really no need for me to have them shipped from the other side of the world. The onesie was £24.15 not including shipping, which was also quite expensive, and conversion fees. I probably wouldn't have paid this price if a similar onesie was available for a lower price and I didn't have 10% off. Overall I don't think I'll order anything from Onesies Downunder again unless I really really want one of their exclusive prints (which is likely haha).

The second order I placed was with ABDL Marketplace. I purchased the woodland creatures snap crotch onesie in large and a dotty the pony diaper (which I will not be reviewing here). The customer service was amazing and the order got to me exceptionally quickly. the packaging was super good, very discrete. The print on the onesie is so adorable and it fits just how I wanted it to, big enough to fit a super thick diaper under it. The poppers are secure and don't come undone when I have a diaper under it. The onesie was £16.99 plus shipping which was also quite cheap. I think this is a very reasonable price. Overall I would have to say this one is my favourite, I will definitely be getting more onesies from them and probably all of my other ABDL things. They're lovely people running a wonderful store.

The final order was with Little For Big. I purchased the Halloween snap crotch onesie in size large and a blue adult pacifier. The customer service was a little odd, after receiving an email saying my order was shipped, I then received one apologising for an error and saying they'd upgraded my shipping to express to ensure the order got to me before Halloween. I asked what the email meant as I hadn't noticed an error but was confused by the reply I got. However I do appreciate them sending the order by express delivery to make sure I got it on time. The order got to me just before Halloween and this time I didn't have to pay custom fees luckily! The print and cut on the onesie is adorable however the sizing is much bigger than that of the other two stores, so it fits very baggy. Although this is not necessarily a problem, just something to bare in mind. The snaps on the onesie are extremely strong, I couldn't manage to get them undone and even my boyfriend struggled, I often just took it off by pulling it down and going through the head hole. This is probably the only issue I have with the onesie since it makes it hard to wear as you can't just undo the snaps to change a diaper. The pacifier is super cute. The teat is the perfect size and is made of a different, softer material than the Onesies Downunder one, making it more fun to chew. The onesie was $32.80 (which is around £26.41) with free shipping. I think this was very expensive although I am glad they offer free shipping as a lot of their products ship from china. Overall I don't think I will be buying another Little For Big onesie unless they change the poppers they use, because for me this really put me off wanting to buy another because of how hard they are to undo.

So in order I think my favourite onesie was the one from ABDL marketplace as it fits just how I wanted it to, the customer service was good, and it was well priced. My second favourite was Onesies Downunder as the customer service was good, and the product was good quality but the price is quite high, especially since the print on the onesie wasn't as bright as expected. My least favourite was Little For Big because of the snaps on the onesie being too hard to undo, the price being very expensive, and the customer service not being the best, although it is a cute onesie.

If you have any questions please don't be afraid to ask! And let me know what you think of the review, do you agree? Or do you completely disagree? Would you like to see more reviews from me? Let me know!

Thank you for reading!

***Edit*** Thank you so much Onesies Downunder and ABDL Marketplace for reading and reblogging this review ***edit***
If you want to read more of my reviews check out my new review blog HERE

Wednesday 24 August 2016

An open letter to my rapist.

A letter to my rapist (and anyone's else's for that matter)

***TRIGGER WARNING***
Obviously this is going to include a lot of dark stuff so be aware of that if you decide to read this.

I don't actually think I'm ever going to send this to him, I'm writing this to help myself, and other victims to know that there's others who feel the way they do. I know how you feel and I'm always around to talk if you need me. So here it goes...

I guess the first question I have is why? Why me? Why did you do it? Why did you think that was an acceptable thing to do just because I apparently did something wrong? Why did you do it again after you saw how much it hurt me the first time?

I don't think you quite understand how much what you did to me effected me. It took me a very long time to figure out what was normal in a relationship after you treated me as badly as you did. It wasn't even a relationship! You used me and I didn't know any better. I loved you! Did you even have any feelings for me at all? Or was I just another girl you were fucking? You only seemed to ever contact me when you wanted your cock sucking. But I was too stupid to see that. Id had a crush on you all through school and you used that to your advantage. You made me feel so special, like I was the only one you wanted. But you didn't. You didn't want me at all.

I trusted you so much. I trusted you more than anyone. You knew all of my secrets. It's taken me so long to trust anyone to that level. And even now I'm still afraid that everyone is using me, that they're just going to leave me, hurt me like you did. You're a huge part of the reason I developed anxiety. I know I shouldn't completely blame you but you really didn't help. I thought you did, I thought you were good for me. But you never cared did you?

I was 15. You were 17. You should have known better. You used my age and inexperience against me. You made me think it was all normal. You made me think it was totally normal to be so sexual so soon. It's got me hurt so many times but never as much as you hurt me. It's one thing to break my heart but to do what you did was wrong. So wrong.

I'm slowly getting over it. Slowly but surely. It's been 2 years now and I still cry whenever I try and do that one thing you wanted. Because it brings back all of the horrible memories of you forcing it on me. I'm still scared of bumping into you in public even though you never did acknowledge my existence. You always just looked straight past me, like I wasn't there.

Do you ever think about it? Because there isn't a single day that goes by that I don't. I'm constantly reminded of it. Of you. It sucks.

Maybe one day I'll get all the answers I need from you and I'll finally be able to fully get over what has happened. But until then I guess I'll just keep going. You haven't killed me yet kid.


Sorry this is so depressing and all over the place, I needed to get it out. I promise I'll be back to some good content soon. I hope this helped at least one person understand.
Thanks for reading. 

Saturday 25 June 2016

Half year review

It's June, which means the year is already half way over. It feels like just yesterday I was writing my New Years resolutions! So now it's time to see how well I'm sticking to them and what else has changed.

The past six months have probably been some of the best and also in some ways the worst I've had in a while. I got all of my hair cut off! That was probably the best decision I've ever made if I'm honest, it has really improved my mood. I went to see patent pending (twice), Melanie Martinez, and I also went to slam dunk where I saw Panic! At The Disco, zebrahead, as it is, and away days. They were all amazing experiences and I can't wait to have more concerts like those. For Melanie I traveled to London for third time although it was my first time actually being able to explore and I really loved it, it's such a beautiful place. I had a few breakdowns but I also feel like my life is getting more on track than it has been in a long time. I got into college and am currently in the process of looking for a new job.

Here's a super cute picture of us at slam dunk!!

I have been sticking to my first New Years resolution (look after myself) very well! My diet is improving greatly and I recently started going to the gym which always makes me feel better about myself. I have also started taking antidepressants which I feel are really helping me with my general mood and anxiety. In order to continue with this I will be further improving my diet and trying to improve my sleep schedule.

My second resolution was to wear Lolita more often which I defiantly feel like I am achieving, especially since my wardrobe is growing so much. Although I haven't had chance to go to any more meets, I have just been wearing it out on dates with the boyfriend.

I have defiantly started getting more organised as I have bought a happiness planner to try and help me when I'm at college. So far I've got all my plans in it, I'm just waiting to actually start college! I plan on using this to both organise myself and help with my positivity.

As for my little resolutions I have started watching more movies and instead of reading more I have started writing more.

That's all for this month. Thank you so much for reading!